my chemical romance

chemistry is a study of exceptions, is it really? don’t we all go through the same chemical romances? ah well, this quote is something which I felt was a good measure of what we all go through at-least once in our lives. 

 

 

reliving the past is not a good idea they said; empty words.

 

writing on the wall

 

Quite the irony to find this outside a bar well past the clock had struck midnight.

Even when the sun was down and darkness had won the war yet again, the fact remains that there is always a shining light in the backdrop of our lives even though it seems as though the situation has stacked all the chips against us.

Remember these words then in those testing times, ‘you’re always somebody’s sunshine‘ – the reason they smile even in their trying times.

about poems and life

“So how would you define a good poem?”
“It’s a good poem if I’m a different person when I’m finished reading it”

---

 

 Makes me question, do I even possess the right to make an attempt to write poetry?

Time will tell.

 

a celestial tale

“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,
“You owe me.”
Look what happens with love like that.
It lights up the sky.”
― Rumi

an irony at a distance

Courtesy: Terribly tiny tales

an admission of sorts

“Then he drowned his aspirations down with the age old scotch; little did he know that she was far more toxic than the drink boiling on top of the stolid ice”

of sunny days and rainy nights

As there are vicissitudes in the whether as the time in the day passes on, similar are the changes in our fortunes. We might be on a sunny day lying on the beach one day and the other tears from our moist eyes might go unnoticed by the sheer overwhelming emotional rain.

Emotion, it’s such a strange thing, fluctuating like the westerly wind, taking a toll on our helpless stranded thoughts. It’s widely believed that our behavior is a wonderful indicator of how we feel, I feel for those sorry and naive souls who believe that. Man has learned to wear masks to cover their emotional turmoil to create an aura of make-believe around them. This is because humans as a species care, they care about how they are perceived; display of strength in times of hardship is considered heroic, why is that so? Why can’t we just let go and why can’t people reject the notion of doing that as a flaw in character, a flaw indeed. Men are taught by their fathers to be stolid and be hard in such times; I want to challenge that notion.

Like we use the tender shade of trees to hide from the tyranny of the sun, the same way we hide behind these stone-hearted masks to escape the turmoil due to social embarrassment. We have learned to hide our emotions and ride on this wave of utter reserve.

Sigh! Only if we could change some of these ways, the world would be a simpler place to live in. 

 

 

 

having moved on

‘The gentle breeze touches her face, 
as she walks by  nonchalantly with an intoxicating grace.’

He barely noticed her this time,
even though he could hear her ever-beautiful earrings chime.’

‘Having learnt his lesson, he was a man facing change,
he had given up on their photo with the heart shaped frame.’

‘Enough was enough, he was ready to seek refuge in the future unsought,
he had accepted the score with her to be one to naught.’

‘As he made peace with this imaginative  loss,
 it became easier for him to ignore the sound of her callous laughter when she passed across.’

her

A broken heart trying to be mended,
like the last act in a play can never be appended.

He was trying too hard to put on a mask of normality,
with the aim to maintain an aura of formality.

There she was, teasing away with a gentle wave,
only if she knew that was just enough to melt those knees brave.

How may he ever describe her to you,
in the fear that  you might never understand what his heart construed.

Once turned down, you think his heart would listen to that brain?
his heart was too full to even face her, will he have to wait for it to drain?

His faith was repeatedly tested,
as his mind was in her one glance arrested.

He did all the right things,
longed for her for far too many springs.

It was that one question he asked her,
ruined it all between them, turned that young man into a broken prisoner

Nevertheless, he always had that flailing flicker of hope,
that kept him going, to make his heart and mind cope.

Lessons

It’s dawned upon me that I have wasted my last year at college. Yeah, I’ve got great education at a premiere west-coast institute. but I’m talking about the time I invested in building relationships and inculcating them with trust.

In one small flicker of a candle flame I ruined it all.

My mistake, I don’t deny that. It’s just that it shocks me how people change in matter of seconds. I have been in uncomfortable situations with people, judged them maybe, but I’ve always given them a benefit of doubt, so that the next time I’m with them I’m always in a semi-open mind.

So this year, it so happened that one such incident completely changed my entire social dynamic. People would disagree, I look the same lame-lord on the outside, but the change and the awkwardness is palpable. It devastates me in parts; that people don’t care about what you are going through. It’s like they’re suddenly blinded to all what you’ve done for them in the past, all the amazing times you’ve had with them in the time-past. I feel like giving up, it’s all ultimately an act for which the curtains are going to fold any-day. The ‘mask of normality’ that I’m gripping on to with my dear life is slowly giving away.

I feel like whatever I do from now on is not going to make any difference, cause how much ever I try and hope, that one misnomer of a scar is not going to fade away. I’ve thought about making reprimands, trust me, I’ve tried my level best to leave subtle innuendos for them to understand; no use. People are too busy with their own lives to care about that one scarred individual; and why should they? They have a good thing going on, why ruin their bliss for someone who is now an alien *maybe even to himself*

I’ve been on the other side of this tale, and I’m not lying when I say, I was different. I did care, I was there to help that poor scarred soul’s revival to normalcy in the group, hell I still do that here. But it all goes unappreciated. See, I don’t want the appreciation, I’ve come to realize that it’s ‘three’ much to ask this of people; but I at-least expect an acknowledgement. Nope, not happening now, not now, not ever.

I know I have to move on, but it’s easier said than done. It’s not really easy to revamp your entire social structure which you have carefully invested in. I don’t think it’s even plausible at this point. That leaves me with two options, either to hold on to the dying hope that they would one day understand the plight of this broken man or on the other just learn to live in despair and wait till the next phase of my life begins.

I hate the latter,  but I guess I don’t have a choice. I’ve given up hope on the human tendency to understand. I’m finally finally broken.